I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
