If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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