dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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