so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Let's get the cat blown out
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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