My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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