careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
