How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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