You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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