Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
