I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
