Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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