Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
