Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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