no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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