theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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