even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
