Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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