Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize