Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Bring me that man meat
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
