is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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