i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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