am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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