just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I FOUND THE LEGS
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize