Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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