Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
