if you like me you must not know who I am
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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