i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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