I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
