I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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