She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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