One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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