my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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