Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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