just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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