It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
