I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
