he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
