He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
