I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
