Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
