Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
