I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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