Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
