tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
