you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
