Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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