how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
