To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
