It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize