recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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