i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
