I heard we made out
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
