is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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