The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
