Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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