Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
