We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Randomize
