just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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