I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize