I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize