Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
