OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
