ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
