what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
