But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
