im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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